Bringing Sweaty Back, Muscles and Mascara

Fun & Games

It’s all fun and games until Mr. Chicken Fry loses the ladder crawl 6 times in a row!  😂😂😂😂😂😂! Oh he’s going to kill me y’all!   It’s ok babe…we all know it’s a scam 😉! Awh heck let’s just blame it on the beer 🍺!   Howdy Folks, from Dallas, Texas and the Texas State Fair.

We do everything big in Texas including our state fair.  I have not been to the Texas State fair in over 10 years.  I was way overdue for fun and games, laughter and sight seeing, friends and rides, loud music and people watching, crowds and lines, and the bright Texas fall sunshine.

2016statefairoftexasI experienced my first Dart rail ride.  If you are a local, DART to the park.  It was perfect and literally dropped us at THE FRONT GATE! (winning already)!  I will become a frequent DART rail rider.  It was easy, breezy.

First stop…food pavillion!  People always ask me, “what do you eat at the fair?”  Let me tell you what I don’t eat at the fair.  I don’t go for the fried guacamole or the deep-fried chocolate banana.  I skip past the German sausage sandwhich on a stick and the crazy fried potato thingy mah bobber.  I shake my head at the fried grilled cheese and tomato dip and keep trucking past the smelly barbeque french fries.  I prefer the juicy meaty barbaric turkey leg or spicy corn on the cob!  I like to keep it simple, lean and clean. No need to waste 14 coupons on junk food.  Baby girl ordered up a giant slice of greasy cheese pizza and you all can no doubt guess what Mr. Chicken Fry’s order,  yep, a Fletcher’s corny dog.


Midway or bust. Time to burn the calories in hopes of a deep fried dessert on the way out!  Something you should know about me, I’m crazy about rides! I’m a big time sucker for carnivals, amusement parks and fairs. It was hard to hold back and share ride coupons with my spawn!  🙄I almost didn’t invite her, lol!


Yall, what has happened in the carni industry?  The rides today are just sick and stupid nuts. My goodness the hydraulics are juicing on steroids and my mouth was watering.  My teenager is practically begging me to ride on some octopus looking twirly upside down, round and round ride that would suspend us both high (like really high) into the air at mach speed. I’m certain that it’s going to kill us or an innocent spectator!  I’m trying to be so cool and act like I’m not dying to ride!!!!  I’m in shape, all I have to do is hold my head back, hold on tight and close my eyes!  Just like riding a bike.  I got this, let’s do this!

Hello jello legs.  Whoa baby, I admit I was a little shaky but it was overshawdowed by an incredible endorphin rush.  I had to have burned like a trillion calories holding on for dear life, my core tight while my heart pounded a mile a minute.  What’s next?  I was looking for a new ride coming off of my high when two (faster than a speeding bullett, U.S. fighter jets came screaming over the Cotton Bowl. I got chills and skills because I actually captured the fly by!  Check this out!


Miss Teenager was only using me.  She only wanted to use for rides her friends didn’t want to ride.  I felt like a battered step child, an orphan, a sad homless person left out in the cold dark night.

Step right up!  Game time which really means just hand over your wallet.  Go ahead and give all of your dollars away for a cheap big crappy stuffed animal that will be in the trash by Monday.  Right?  But seriously, who can resist the water baloon races? The milk jug toss? and what about that ladder trick?

I literally studied the ladder like I was going to get a grade.  It’s a SCAM!  I tried to remain focused,  balanced and don’t look up!  No luck. I will most definately rig one of these up in my backyard.  My whole family will be ladder master champions by next year don’t you even worry!

Big Tex. The star of the show and man of the hour deserves a photo opp!   We chose his better side!  If you’re not careful Mr. Tex, you could get a little saggy in the britches. Perhaps some heavy squats and weights during the off season!


Walk walk walk. All that walking made me thirsty so I broke down and had a cold Coors Light. When in Rome right?!  The cold refreshment,  also known as liquid courage, took advantage of Mr. Chicken Fry.  The Crazy Mouse, from a far,  appeared to be a small four seater “roller coaster”.  It looked like child’s play to all four adults.  It seemed like a smooth, soft non-jerky coaster ride.  Hmmmm things at the fair are NEvEr what they seem. Everything is a BIG FAT SCAM!   Y’all, turns out, the Crazy Mouse is the best ab workout ever if you ride with Mr. Chicken Fry.   First off, he HATES heights but agreed to ride this unassuming elementary ride. I’m telling you it showed no signs of crazy. Holy cow,  it’s a doozie and totally lives up to the name.  The second we came over the top, Mr. Chicken Fry had some guttural verbal responses that cannot be repeated.  Everything he was screaming,  we were feeling.   All four of us were laughing so hard that tears, tee-tee, and snot were pouring from our body in hysterical response to his commentary.  Completely priceless but we could not catch our breath.  My abs were on fire!


I’m a million percent positive I have just burned through the beer so yes, I will have another.   Also, I think some cotton candy will help my situation. I’ve exhausted all of my energy and I want some straight up sugar on a stick.  One bite and it’s game on.  It’s so bad but taste so dang good. Fluffy and warm. It’s so pretty and pink, fat free too…I think!?


We took the easy way back and hopped on the Sky Coaster.  I was so tired from laughing I couldn’t even jump off the ground.

The view was so pretty and the sun was close to setting.  Last stop the car show!

Little Miss Teenager made a B line for the best car in the building.  The Chevy Corvette.  It’s my for life dream car.  I could burn some calories rubber in this baby!  It’s so sleek and sexy.  It’s so shapley and dynamic.  Let’s get out of here before I lose my mind.


Mr. Chicken Fry was feeling hungry and made a brilliant suggestion.  Dinner in the West End.  For your out of towners it’s a festive area with music, shopping, dining and historical markers.  I have not been to Dicks Last Resort in years.  Can you guess which dinner plate is mine?


True to form, he ordered the chicken fried steak and a quart of beer!  He needed something hearty to get him over the almost panic  attack from the Crazy Mouse and Sky Coaster.  It was not working for him at all.

Give me a side of chicken wings please.  Dick’s Last Resort was rowdy, not fancy just what we needed to top off a family friendly nostalgic day.  We giggled the whole ride home.  I was forever thankful for my favorite socks, FEETURES !  These bad boys never let me down.  

So long Texas State Fair… Goodbye Folk’s!


Friends for life, trains, trams and coasters, wind blown, shook up, cashed out, permanent smiles, sore abs, and memories for miles.

Love, peace and turkey leg grease



How was your weekend?  What do you eat at the fair?


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