Bringing Sweaty Back, Muscles and Mascara

You can’t flow it down

The female flow is an repetitive encumbrance that we women folk must face. It comes and it goes without a choice.

Every girl has committed the precise whereabouts to memory when dear mother nature said, “hello.”  For me, it was middle school, 7th grade, choir class.  Once she greets you, she’s with you for the long haul.

The monthly reminder can unleash some serious adverse effects on “our” flow of life.  Fellow fem fatals, if your experience is at all similiar to mine, you’re a lucky girl.   Fortunately, I’m only inconvenienced every other month.

Once every two months, I have very specific symptoms that no matter what Mr. Chicken Fry says, are not my imagination!!!  Mean old “Aunt Flow” arrives and brings a suit case full of extreme breast tenderness and a 3-6 pound obvious bloat.  Always a joy to see you again FLOW!  (eye roll)  She also packs extra special gifts such as the giant underground monster zit and shameful irritability. Awe, you shouldn’t have.  Can I FLOW you to the door?

The salty food cravings are a dead give way and warning it’s on the way!  Mr. Chicken Fry usually knows because I become a microwave oven several nights before the time. I also notice that my feet feel stuck to the earth and I have to work hard to muster the energy to do basically anything.

Thank heavens for me, it ‘s not every single month that I have these horrific issues.

I must have a happy skinny FIT ovary and a twisted foul mean ovary!

Aunt “Monthly Martha” is my favorite, she’s the fun one.  She doesn’t demand as much and is drama free. When Martha is in the house, I’m at ease and way less symptomatic.  Fortunately, she brings spastic energy and zero cramping.   Now, I may cry at the drop of a hat and be a wee bit more emotional than usual but that could also be my age!  I rebuke you menopause!


Apparently when we beauties ovulate our ovaries take turns. One month we ovulate from the right side and the next month is the left. I bet if you start paying attention you will be able to feel which side is pulling if you have cramps.  My advice, is to track your self and see what you think !  I use the free period tracker app!  It’s user friendly and has  fun cute mood and symptoms emojis.



Are you a leftie or a righty?  

Flow with it baby!



3 thoughts on “You can’t flow it down”

Leave a Reply