Bringing Sweaty Back, I don't cook

Kitchen Redemption

Last week I totally blew.  I had an EPIC unprecedented fail in the dinner department.  I didn’t commit an injustice per say but my kitchen smelled to high heaven and  mimicked a small crime scene.

It’s no secret that I’m not very savvy in the kitchen.  What that really means is that I don’t particularly enjoy the art of cooking.  It brings me zero pleasure and as I have said many times,  my family doesn’t value my efforts…so what’s the point?

My quirky kitcken anthem is now,  when all else Fails, try an FAKE it!  

Nonetheless, (sigh), I do try.  Last Monday night, I threw two giant pre-marinated pork tenderloins into the oven.  I have cooked these like a zillion times.  Tenderloin is a staple meal and usually a crowd pleaser.  I also sliced up sweet potatoes and sprinkled them lightly with cinnamon and sugar.  I baked fresh okra tossed with olive oil garlic salt and pepper.  I  just knew Mr. Chicken Fry would be so impressed.

Somehow, someway, EVERYTHING went tragically wrong. Was there an earthquake I didn’t ‘know about or some cataclismic plate-tech-tonic shift that could have caused the disaster?  

The pork, which is almost dummy proof, was chewy and slimy and straight up NASTY!  It’s never happened before and possibly not my fault?!?  Maybe the meat was spoiled to begin with?  Yeah, I’m going with that scenario!   UGH, I wish this was the end of the story.  I also accidentally over cooked the okra to the point of charred! It was totally inedible and reeked of burnt vegetables.     

It just so happens that I had recently seen a video on fb that looked easy enough for even me to try.  I followed the instructions like a good girl.  I sliced up the sweet potatoes, as seen above, spritzed them with olive oil and popped them into the toaster. It smelled like thanksgiving!  I did have to retoast 5 times before they were cooked through. The sweet potato slices were the only semi decent, edible, item on the menu. The problem was I only had two sweet potatoes to begin with and it wasn’t near enough to for three people to survive on.

FroYO anyone?  We had to do something major to clear out our distorted taste buds from the torment. Nothing like a big cold bowl of frozen yogurt and fruity toppings to make everything better.

Last night, I did my best to redeem myself and FAKE my way through another dinner.  I  by George, I think I did it.  I purchased big beautiful thick butterfly pork chops and marinated them in seasoning and barbecue sauce.  I fired up the Foreman grill and cooked the chops to juicy succulent perfection.  I’m a big fan of the Foreman.

I also boiled red potatoes seasoned with Lawry’s and a pad of butter.  For a veggie side, I sautéed kale with garlic and onions.  I never give up so I attempted the fresh okra again and it was so so. Thank heavens for the kale. 

I served the pork chop on a bed of  kale seasoned with fresh habanero and jalapeno and a little bit of soy sauce.  Sort of tasted asian fusion spicy pork like.  Mr. Chicken Fry made it crystal clear that unless I actually FRY the okra he’s not a fan of the bake and broil approach. 

Why am I not surprised?!?  My biggest hooray came from my baby girl who oohed and awed over the tender pork!  Y’all, no one can mess up red potatoes!  Btw, potatoes in general get such a bad wrap.  It’s sad beause potatoes are such a vitamin rich earthy food!  Unless you slather them with butter, sour cream and cheese, potatoes are fine by me.  All they need is a little salt and pepper. 

So folks, when all else fails, FAKE it again and who knows…maybe you will get some yummy FRO-Yo at of the deal.

For more clean eating tips and tricks check out my post Brain Wash!  

Love never fails, so who cares that I don’t have kitchen skills!!

Peace, love and eat healthy grub! 

Angi xo

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