I don't cook, Muscles and Mascara

When all else fails, FAKE IT!

Stop stop, its not what your thinking…GEEZ! 

Ok its true, I don’t cook.  I mean I do, but I don’t.  Suffice it to say, I don’t cook well, I FAKE IT.  I don’t cook mainly because I don’t enjoy it and like many of you know, I’m married to Mr. Chicken Fried Steak and I can’t satisfy his greasy appetite.  (Please read Abercrombie FITness Stamp of Approval – CHICKEN)  

So, like Jack Nicholson says in A Few Good Men, “You want the truth…you can’t handle the truth”.  More like I can’t handle the truth…my truth is this…I feel like a complete phony blogging about low cal, low fat recipes.  I’m frightened I might get a comment or question about the receipe.  I do eat a very healthy diet but I eat really basic food that doesn’t require ACTUAL cooking.  Boiling water, and setting the oven to bake is the extent of my skill level.  When I hear people say that they made “spaghetti squash egg cups” or “wheat grass Pa Tai” or “sautéed shimp and scallops marinated in mushroom sauce”, I completely FLIP out. WHO DOES THIS???   I’m no Martha Stewart and my kitchen does NOT house one item from Willliam Sonoma.  WAIT, that’s not true, I do have a very nice wine gadgets from that store…does that count?

My secret is exposed and the weight has been lifted.  I’M NOT A FOODIE!  Wow, I feel so much better.  So, here it goes If I were EVER going to think about cooking here are a few low cal low fat recipes that look yummy!  (the real real truth is I just want a personal chef, DUH)


Click this link My FITness pal link for 14 great low fat dishes under 400 calories!  My FITness Pal Recipes  I chose this site because I like the fact it gives you a picture, food prep time, cook time and nutritional info.  Also my long time friend and mentor Larry North has some incredible fat free recipes.  Check out Larry’s LIVING LEAN book!  It has some amazing information on cooking low fat without sacrificing flavor and taste!  If you love mashed potatoes or creme brûlée Larry has a receipe that will leave your taste buds satisfied and your waist line in check.  Larry taught me all I know and preach about eating and nutrition.  I adopted his philosophies and have mimicked his eating style for over 20 years.  

I want to hear from you←

What are your favorite low fat, low cal dishes to make?  Please share them with me…not that I will ever cook them myself, but maybe some of my readers will!  

Dear friends and family, please make a mental note, if you fall ill, become injured, or heaven forbid die, I’m not the point person for food!  I’ll quickly rush to your bedside with lipstick and mascara and read you a magazine, pray and hold your hand.  I’m not to be counted on for food UNLESS you full well know upfront your getting pizza or chinese food!   

21 thoughts on “When all else fails, FAKE IT!”

Leave a Reply