Muscles and Mascara

Pillow Talk

Who knew that a mattress could change the trajectory of marriage?  After almost 19 years on the same mattress, me and Mr. Chicken Fry decided  to make a change.  Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “no more monkey business on that old bed.”

Now before you get all judgey and grossed out, it isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Have you ever heard of CLEAN SLEEP?  My friend Michael Ingle, Denton, Texas entrepreneur,  founded a new technology for dry cleaning mattresses.  Click the link above and check it out!  It’s a commercial grade mobile cleaning business right to your front door.  Clean Sweep is quick, green and clean.   You might have seen Michael and his flourishing CLEAN SLEEP business on Shark Tank several years back.  This heated sterilization technique has proven to be a reputable brand and thriving business.

Needless to say, Michael cleaned our mattress twice in 20 years.  However, it time to quit monkeying around, throw in the towel and buy a new one.  Unlike buying a car or house, purchasing a new mattress isn’t exactly the sexiest or most interesting agenda item on my purchase list. In my book it’s right up there with sticking a needle in my eye.

Want to know why?  Because mattresses are expense y’all!

Buying a new mattress is equivalent to the purchase of car tires.  You’ve got to do it but you fight it.  You grin and bear it until you can’t take it anymore or you’re sliding off the road or off the bed and finally break down and get the new mattress already!

Side bar, I don’t really have an issue with sleep.  I work hard, I play hard, I wash my face, I eat dinner, I climb into bed, turn off the lights and boom, I’m out!  Sound a sleep.  The END!  So what exactly can a new mattress do that tops that!?!?!

Top it? No. Enhance it? YES!  Man, mattress buying has come along way.  You should have seen me and Mr. Chicken Fry up in the Mattress Firm.

Mr. Sales Guy: “So are you a soft or firm.?”  ME:  “SOFT, we are definitely a soft.”

Chicken Fry, “we are?????,” with a questioned look on his face?   “Are you sure…I think I’m FIRM.”  looking at me for blessed reassurance.

“Honey, we are talking about mattresses here get your head in the game.”  (rolling my eyes)  This was basically the connotation and mood of how the next 15 minutes would play out.

Once we determined that we were in agreement and we are a SOFT, it was time for a few test runs.  We took to rolling around on the soft mattresses and made a fast choice.  While Chicken Fry was doing the paper work, I made my way to what looked like a remote control.  Curious I started pressing buttons.  “Hey look at me”, I yell like a little kid in a candy store.  (and besides that we were the only ones in the store.)

Chicken Fry shot over as fast as he could bob and weave between the beds.  “This is kind of cool don’t ya think?”   He immediately hoped in to take a spin. “Look,” I said,  “it will elevate your feet and vibrate too.”  It was like we had never seen a TV commercial and come out from underneath a rock.  I felt like I was in a sitcom only it was real.  By this point the sales man who Mr. Chicken Fry had abandoned comes over and is staring down at us.  “How much is this,” utters Chicken Fry.   Who keeps firing back with more questions.

In less than 30 minutes we came, we saw, we took turns and in the end purchased a new remote control base and mattress.  What a country.

The day it was delivered was sheer excitement.  The anticipation was off the chain. We couldn’t wait to plop into the soft pillow like mattress and get to sleeping, lol.  Adjustable beds are fun! Turns out…it’s maybe the best investment we have ever made together in our marriage.  It’s truly amazing in every way.

Here are my top 5 reasons why.

  1. When Mr. Chicken Fry begins to (cough cough) SNORE, I can easily elevate his side of the bed just enough that he will stop snoring!  Call me geriatric or call me genius, either way works.   P.S. We did not purchase the split mattress. I didn’t want to fuss with sheets and such.
  2. The ability to elevate my feet after a long day of training, running, cooking, errands, and working on my feet all day is like BUTTER!  It’s great for blood flow and circulation.
  3. It’s like being in a giant soft Barcalounger /lounge chair only it’s my bed!!!!  I can tilt the bed up for drinking coffee! I can write my blog in a soft cozy position and eat my nightly bowl of cereal.
  4. When Chicken Fry comes to bed, I don’t even feel it!  The mattress absorbs all body movement.  It’s a full on do not disturb bed.  Any tossing and turning that either of us do is amazingly unnoticeable.  We had grown immune to the bumping or creaking sounds of our bed and now, total silence.   AWWWWW,   sleep in heavenly peace!
  5. On the off-chance one of us is feeling sick or under the weather,(this week was a doozie) this bed is the money.  The ability to tilt upward helps suspend coughing and drainage. It makes watching television easier and feels better for minor body aches and pains associated with the flu or other related sickness. In sickness and in health right folks?!?!


  • The only downside to our upgrade is the remote control factor.  Now, we have to keep up with two more remotes.  We do have the option to program one remote but that would only allow us the ability to be elevated at the same time. (which isn’t a bad idea)


Now, me and Mr. Chicken Fry can just lay or sit up in bed and talk all night long!   (insert heavy eye roll)  Nothing better than hunting for remotes and fighting over the perfect setting and tv channel.  This is what 19 years of marriage, true love and perfect pillow talk look like.

Love, snuggle and make time to cuddle.  

Angi xo

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