Bringing Sweaty Back, I don't cook


It’s almost Easter y’all!  Soft muted colors adorn everything from finger nails to front yards!  Spring is all over!

This Easter,  I’m on a different kind of hunt, and Easter egg-tensive pursuit of the perfect egg.

How do you like your eggs?

It’s quite egg-stensive don’t you think?  The transformation of an egg while under pressure is fantastic and mind-boggling.   Think about…

Boiled (water and heat)

Scrambled (heat)

Omlett-tized (heat)

Over easy (small heat)

Over hard (heat)

Sunny side up (heat)

Fried (high heat)

Poached (water and high heat)

Eggs are so versatile and fragile! Yet, with just enough heat/pressure, an egg can slowly morph into something soft and yummy.

Which brings me to a minor confession that I have suppressed for many moons.  I have no earthly idea how to make or even know the difference between sunny side up vs. an over easy!?!  This is not some deviant April foolery, I’m being serious folks.

The physics is my biggest problem.  I don’t at all comprehend how to flip an egg out of iron hot  skillet into thin air, back into the skillet without breaking the yolk!  Are yall out there  “doing” this in your homes?  Are yall flipping eggs for your family?

Is it all in the wrist?

Do I need a super spatula?

Am I just afraid to go for it?

Why can’t I remember a unique mother daughter “egg teaching” moment? I’ll tell you why, because it never happened.  Mom had me on restricted kitchen access.  I was only allowed to pour milk into my cereal bowl and or open a can of soup to heat it in the beloved microwave.  There was no playful egg tossing, bonding or flipping going on…that was way to risky for mom who was an adamant clean kitchen keeper.

But now, there are no excuses.  I’m a full-grown adult with access to technology like ALEXA, Siri and Google.  I can easily find the answer like I do everything else in life BUT…somethings shall remain a mystery…or until I can master it on my own.  The problem is…I’m usually famished and in a hurry.  Who’s got leisure time to stand around and practice flipping eggs in the air?

I cook eggs on a weekly basis but aside from the mindless scramble with a pinch of pepper I got nothing!

Eggs, these lovable, gooey on the inside, protein packed beauties are an easy way out,  go to meal in my house.  I can lazily whip up a mean omelet and some sassy scrambled eggs in no time but can a girl get some help on the fancy stuff?

Sheesh…is it just practice?   I don’t get it, I really don’t?

What I do know is that eggs are an eggcellent source of protein.  I can put away the eggs.  We eat a lot of eggs but I just don’t know how to make them look pretty.  So sue me.

I sort of think I have mastered the one thing you can’t mess up which is an egg omelette.  Basically I toss anything and everything from the drawers in the frig, into the skillet with the eggs.  Next I add heat and stir occasionally.  Onion, turkey, ham, jalapeno, cilantro, spinach, cheese, bell peppers, and mushrooms are examples of easy omelet add ins.

Back in the day, I struggled for hours, slaving and peeling hot, over or under cooked boiled eggs.  Because how can you ever gauge if they are really ready?  Half the time the shell wouldn’t come off and I would ruin and entire dozen or more.  All I would be left with was the yellow centers which I would eat!  YES EAT THE DANG YOLKS!  So now…I buy my boiled eggs.  It’s as easy as that.  I like to eat a boiled egg whole or cut it up for added protein on a salad or into chicken or tuna salad.

Six on way, half a dozen the other.  Saves time.

Mr.Chicken Fry is a sunny side up guy. He likes his whites hard and his middle warm and runny! On occasion, he will proudly present a poached egg and leave me the clean up! Poaching eggs with the little trays is fun up until your hand washing the dishes!

On lazy Saturday or Sunday mornings, we get out the wedding cookery!  Those gifts that we registered for when we were young and naive. Every once in a while we blow the dust off and use them.  This little doohickie is pretty cool.  It’s a water egg cooker for poached eggs.  The secret to poched eggs is to spray the individual cups before the egg goes in!  You’re welcome!

What’s great about eggs is they pair well with any meal! Eggs are NOT just a breakfast food. You can flop a big sunny side up egg in between two pieces of toast with some cheese, bacon or ham for a FITastic sandwich.  You can dial it back and serve a fried egg on a piece of toast with some avocado.  Eggs are so cool and compliment steak, ham or chicken. Did you know that most restaurants can cook you an egg? It’s true. Eggs aren’t usually on the menu but are usually readily available.

A lot of recipes call for an egg.  I think its because an egg has a special sticky quality.  IT’s an adhesive type  bonding food material.  An egg is a rib sticking kind of food.  Because its protein rich,  it stays with you a while and keeps you full. So open wide and practice your egg hunt this weekend.

Happy Easter!

Love, joke and by all means eat the yolk!!

Angi xo

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