Metabolism Monday, Muscles and Mascara

Super Size Surprise!

I tried the impossible.  I did my dead level best to pull off the impossibility of a surprise sweet 16th birthday party for the teen queen.  Do yall even know how virtually impossible this task is living in the year 2018?

Yall, I gave it my best savvy techy well thought out, or so I thought, motherly try.  I did all of the sneaky things a grown woman with skills and connections and know how could do.

Heck, I even employed a few of her trusted besties to help me cover all of the bases. At times I could actually hear a college band in my head encouraging me every time I told a lie.  BUM BUM BUM BUM, HEY….BUM BUM BUM, BUMMMM BUM, HEY!

I lied through my teeth for weeks and then I lied some more! It was like a hall pass to make a bunch of crap up and get away with it. Lying, in my book, about a surprise party is the only time that lying is legal, encouraged, overly justified and satisfying.  I felt a combination of utter inventiveness and paranoia.  It was as if I was in the witness protection program, bobbing and weaving from the teen queen for the last four weeks terrified she was going to see a pop up text message or email from one of her friends on my phone. I was forced to make calls in my car and delete emails and text like a Russian spy.

But the awful sad reality is I was unsuccessful. I didn’t pull it off. Turns out, I was the only one fooled. Want to know why?  There are some things technology can’t fix.

Like that one snarky, spoiler kid who spills the beans.  Whether this punk was intentional or not, you know who you are and I know who you are and you will forever have to live with the haunting fact that I know where you sleep.  CD…you better watch your back son! lol

Also, texting has ruined and changed the rules. I planned a party for 30 girls. After 15 minutes of the teen queens arrival, word spread faster than a California wild-fire. We had children/ boy and girl teenagers multiplying in our back yard faster than fruit flies at a picnic. Scattered and coming out of the wood work teens were taking over. Talk about surprised. Me and Mr. Chicken Fry looked like deer in the head lights.

Nonetheless, there were some fantastic surprises that I successfully pulled off like these adorable birthday signs. Thank you SIGN GYPSIES for making the teen queens 16th birthday bigger than life. Move over birthday card, now there is something way better.  Sign Gypsies’ yard greeting signs are all the rage and such a fun way to say….well whatver you want to say.  Click here to check out there Facebook Page!



No…I’m not the delightful soul who made these big bold yard greeting signs.  But you too can rent them for any special occasion or announcement.  It’s such a fun expressive way to surprise someone or make anyone feel loved.   It’s so easy, simply call or click and rent custom greeting signs for a day or a weekend.

    Announce a birth
    Surprise or celebrate an anniversary
    Crush it at Christmas
    Prom-posal or HOCO invite
    Reveal a gender

SIGN GYPSIES – 817-631-9979

The set up and delivery is all included.  Sign Gypsies offer a wide variety of colors,  letters, designs, and emojis to choose from.


Anywho… the big sweet 16 is a unique right of passage birthday.  The teen and the parent are venturing into a new world and phase of griping fear and responsibility.  The D word….DRIVING.  There is nothing more reassuring than letting your child, your baby, your teenager drive off behind the wheel of a motor vehicle.

Sure, I tell myself she’s ready. Don’t we all?  I say to myself she’s ready but the truth is…we are terrified.  Despite our fears we are taking a tip from those who have gone before us and we have handed over (hands rattling like a granny with the shakes) the keys to a safe pre owned motorized vehicle! Because just yesterday…ok 16 years ago she looked like this!

SURPRISE ! Surprise darling! Your daddy and I just bought you a full-blown car.  A CAR.   A car with four doors and four tires and radio and plenty of safety features and we’re freaking the flip out!  Mr. Chicken Fry and I want to shape it with an inner tube and a flashing neon sign saying…WARNING: NEW TEEN DRIVER…STAY AWAY!  As soon as she passes the test and obtains her licence, she will no doubt cruise off soon and leave us forever.  JUST LIKE I DID!  JUST LIKE MR. CHICKEN FRY DID!  Jesus take the wheel.

There was one last booming thumping surprise that I was able to pull off.  What in the world do you do to occupy 30 plus energetic brats?   Yep that’s right…explicit MUSIC!  Teens love loud ear piercing rap music, it’s what they live for!

So I sucked it up and hired a DJ, aka disc jockey, to call the squat in my back yard for a heated night of pool side dancing.    DJ Alan was FANTASTIC.

‭+1 (214) 564-1985‬ DJ Alan

DJ Alan kept the party bumping with his high def quality rig.  In less than 30 minutes he was completely assembled and ready to blast.  He had a nifty set up complete with speakers, video projection and music videos, microphones and any and all genres of music a human could wish for.  Unfortunately the teens didn’t deviate a whole lot but I did hear the occasional pop hit which made me happy.  DJ Alan was uber professional and from a parents perspective was totally up front about the explicit nature of today’s music.  That was so appreciated and thankfully he had PG versions of most of the songs.  At one point I could hear and feel the windows of our home vibrating…it was no joke.

As a well manored pleasantry, I highly recommend alerting the surrounding neighbors  that if you are planning to throw a teen, high school party with loud music.  

What do you feed the teens?

Mr. Chicken Fry proudly put on his daddy hat and fired up the charcoal grill.  He pre-cooked at least 48 hamburgers to feed the masses. I on the other hand pre-ordered a custom cake from CostCo and loaded up on lemonade, sodas and bottled water.  Look at this cake!  Isn’t it so great!  It’s a licence plate don’t cha know!

I also served chips,  guacamole, cake and brownies.  Unfortunately the kids didn’t eat like the ravenous sloppy teenage beasts from the good old days. Instead they came, they danced, they went the bathroom in packs,  they giggled, they yelled and talked super loud, they flirted and they swam and hung out.  And I’ll be the first to say that when the music stops the teenagers walk.  Like the Artist formerly known as Prince once sang, Closin’ time, ugly lights, everybody’s inspected!  AHHH Prince, the music of my day. the good old days when pop  music was a thing like slow dancing.  

All in all it was a fun affair.  So there you have it, how not to throw a teenage surprise party.

How was your weekend?

Have you been forced to watch your 16 year old drive away?

Love, cry and watch them fly!

Angi xo

From playing in your high heels to driving a car with four wheels! I love you baby girl. I pray you will be safe and make smart educated choices and that I’ll be strong enough to catch you when you fall.

20 August 6 to me and Mr. Chicken Fry has great significance because it’s the day that God blessed us with a baby. A tee-niney whopping 5 pound 7 ounce baby girl. SHE was a bite size surprise. We chose not to know the gender but this girl was as ready for her reveal and came three and a half weeks early.

Today we celebrate the teen queen and her amazing 16 years on the planet. You make our life brighter and better every day.

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