Bringing Sweaty Back, I don't cook

Condiment CRAZY

I’m the condiment queen. I should have a condiment crown!  (that’s fun to say)  I love me some condiments. Who in their right mind doesn’t LUV to dip a warm crispy French fry into some ketchup? (especially fancy ketchup from Whataburger) It’s the American way!

Maybe you’re alien from outer space or dropped on your head as a baby and you don’t share my passion for ketchup.  It’s ok, I can respect that. I suppose you could be more of barbecue sauce or a honey mustard kind of kid and that works too.

Y’all, back in the day my MAMAW, grandmother, would whip together a peanut butter and Karo syrup especial! She would spread this creamy delight on a piece of Wonder Bread, fold it in half and present it in a paper napkin. I just knew she loved the me most and that I was her favorite grandchild.

I don’t even want to think about what a world without condiments would taste like. It would be down right bland and boring to say the very least. What would Tex Mex even be like without chips and salsa or table side guacamole? Can you imagine toast without the possibility of jelly? What a horrendous thought. Pizza would be a total disaster without flavorful accoutrements such as red peppers, marinera and garlic. Can you even wrap your head around waffles without syrup?

In my book, there are no rules when condimenting. (yet another Abercrombie ABonic, aka a word I made up) There is no wrong or right way to use your favorite dips, spreads or seasoning. You can truly condiment your way. Spice it up, or sweeten to your liking because there are condiments for every palette… Abercrombie & FITness approved.

Condiments are the cornerstone of flavor and maybe my marriage. If you can believe it,   Mr. Chicken Fry and I share an affinity for condiments. Let’s be real, who wants a fried cheese stick without marinera sauce? I can’t imagine eating eggs without Tabacco, Louisiana or Red Devil. I want a little caliente kick on my huevos. We all know that Mr. Chicken fry is smothering double heaps of bacon greasy gravy  on his steak.  We both decorate our tuna sandwiches with spoon fulls of sweet relish, mustard, salt and pepper! I shower my grilled chicken salads with soy sauce or balsamaic vinegar for a more tangy flare. My mandatory morning cup of joe consist of a whopping dollop of raw honey. It’s a natural sweetener and a compliment to coffee. We spread the strawberry jelly thick up on our whole grain toast. We dip, spread and sprinkle to our hearts desire…it’s true love!

Contrary to popular belief, condiments are NOT calorie killers


Abercrombie and FITness approved condiment list

Mustard, Ketchup, Tobasco, soy sauce, relish, jelly, jam, honey, salsa, pico-de-gallo, barbeque, wasabi, horseradish, sauerkraut, cocktail sauce, steak sauce, pickles, peppers (of all kinds) hummas, terrayki, balsamic vinegar, cucumbers, celery, tomatoes, hot sauce, salsa, and marinera sauce, Nutella spread

Cooking condiments approved

Coconut oil, olive oil, cooking spray (abide by the serving size instructions)


honey mustard, mayonnaise, cream cheese, syrup, cream dressings, GRAVY, peanut butter, tarter sauce, guacamole, sour cream, cheese sauce, ranch, butter, pesto spreads, bacon grease, alfredo sauce, ranch dressing


Load up a baked potato with salt and pepper, and maybe add some ketchup or salsa or hot sauce. (there is a difference in Texas. Salsa is thicker and has vegetable chunks. Hot sauce is in a bottle such as Red Devil or Tobasco.

Another idea would be to add some skim milk salt and pepper and a wee bit of honey and cinnamon.

BE a DIPPER. Stick a fork in it and dip baby dip!

Don’t ever saturate or drench your salad, meat or meal with sauces or dressings. The dousing of these types of condiments CAN truly make or break your diet if you don’t observe the serving size amount. Don’t be overly lenient and err on the cautious side of dressings and thick cream sauces…ALWAYS!

I want to hear from you!

What are your condiments of choice? Any favorite flavors you use to brighten up your meals?

Love, peace and pass the jelly please! xo


2 thoughts on “Condiment CRAZY”

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