In my private training studio we do a lot of sweating, heavy lifting and jibber jabbing. We discuss news, parenting, tell funny jokes, critique hollywood celebrities and break down books and movies. (click above for my 12 week red carpet ready workout challenge) We talk about all of the female things from shoes to pubes. We gut it out! We talk it out, pray through it, cry about it, laugh it off and share information freely like sisters. If these walls could talk…
One of the numerous subjects that make the round is “well, back when we were growing up…”
Someone will inevitably recall a favorite experience, toy, food, or even a way of doing something that would leave the modern-day millennial perplexed. My teen queen lives in a state of rolling her eyes and giggling at our tales of the yonder years.
On one hand, the current generation has no clue how easy they have it now a day.
On the other hand, they have no idea how much they are they are not getting away with…or are they?
In one of the most recent workout sessions it was brought to my attention that teenagers today will never know what the term “UNLISTED” meant.
Isn’t that surreal? Wrap your brain around that for a second ya’ll. Remember the big chunky block like phone book in yellow? It was often used a make shift booster seat at the dinner table!!!! A PHONE BOOK…what a “fuzz buster.” There was also the white pages, which was half the size, used as a reference for finding phone numbers. They will never understand this!
So many special things have bypassed the millennial. Teenagers and children today have never dialed 214-844-(and any four numbers) to check the time and temperature. They barley dial at all much less make a call to check the time.
They also don’t have a wallet full of photographs of their friends. Trading wallet sized pictures with friends was a way to flex loyalty and friendship. Scoring a picture from a boy that you were crushing on was the highlight of the semester. (not any more…this has been stolen by the number of likes on social media)
They will never NOT be connected to friends.
They have no clue what life was like without CABLE television! When there was only 4,5,8,11 and MAYBE channel 33 or 13 if you were lucky!
They have never taken a roll of film to be processed. The anticipation of seeing pictures from a camera was beyond exciting. There was no such thing as instant gratification. Shoot, we were lucky if could pay the extra for one hour processing.
They have never waited for a record album or CD to hit the stores, beg your parents for money to buy it, get to the mall or record store to stand in line only for it to be sold out. They will never be forced to sit in a room with a tape recorder / jam box waiting for the DJ to play their favorite song in desperate hope of recording the song.
They don’t know what it’s like to be in a car with only one air conditioner to control the temperature for the WHOLE ENTIRE CAR!
They got no clue what’s it like to be off the grid. They are missing the boat on just how liberating it can be for no one to know where you are. I could run and hide from my friends or my parents. Aside from the bright orange 1966 Mustang people didn’t always know my whereabouts. There was no fb or find friends or snap chat that alerted the media you were in Dallas TX on west 7th street at 7 pm. Location services were on the honor system.
If and when you went on a family vacation your friends were out of sight out of mind. The Summer time or Spring Break was truly a BREAK from school and from many of your friends. Summer had its own abstruseness which made the first day of school actually somewhat exciting… because in three months people changed. If someone got a new hair color or hair cut or dropped 20 pounds you didn’t know it until school resumed.
Also, random Summer love hook ups /relationships were yours and yours alone. Every single thing wasn’t on full display.
If you weren’t invited to a party it wasn’t in your face. If your best friend hung out with another friend group behind your back or while you were out-of-town you didn’t know about.
Sneaking out only involved the thought of dodging barking dogs and pesky thorn bushes. There was no such thing as survelience cameras, police ordained curfews and Life 360 location services.
There was on the other hand this thing called PRIVACY and patience.
This leads me to a question:
Could it be that the reason kids today are not overly interested in attending the majority of high school games, parades, social functions or pep rallys is becaue they don’t need to physically be there to feel involved? Now with Snap Chat, insta and other social apps they don’t feel the pressure to physically attend since they can see it on the internet?
I think way back when, we attended these events was because it was a sure thing that everyone would be there and because we had nothing else to do. It was a way to socially hang out with our friends.
Friday nights use to be reserved for “crusing around town” LOOKING FOR OUR FRIENDS. Kids today don’t need to cruise the streets because with two clicks of the keys, they can instantly see where the friends are or what they are up to! The MYSTERY IS GONE!
It’s alot to ponder right?
Ok so stay with me here because I have more questions and a point!
Long long ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and it was senior prom time, my mom took me dress shopping. She bought me a dress and shoes and big big flashy earrings. If I was lucky, she sprang for a trip to the nail salon. I did my own hair, my own makeup and drove to the prom in a regular car. There were no big limousines or party buses. There was no obscene overnight after party at a rented lake house. We took pictures in our front or back yards, we drove to take pictures with friends in their back yard and made our way to the dinner dance also known as prom. Then after the prom, some sweet family would host a big breakfast sleepover and feed a big gang of boys and girls. Some friends were allowed to rent a for an after gathering but we had curfews. The lavish pre and after parties were reserved for college.
Where is the excitement…what is there to look forward to?
High school graduation parties were for you and celebrated with family. Not these group parties for every graduate. I had a family dinner with aunts uncles cousins and grandparents the night of graduation. No extensive parties with decorations, food trucks, sushi, games and photo walls for all of my friends who were also graduating. It doesn’t make sense to me.
Some of these grad parties are like mini major hollywood style events.
It all seems so out of hand. And maybe it is!
Can there be a healthy balance?
I feel like it’s the too much too soon theory. We are not leaving our children room for improvement. In other words something for them to aspire and look forward to. Like the old school “the cart before the horse” slogan. If at 17-18 years old these kids have already experienced a prom-posal with fireworks, helicopters and sirens there isn’t a ton of room for improvement.
This to me this runs in the same vein with couples who live together before marriage. Where is the build up? I feel that there must be some excitement lost. If you are living together and doing all of the married people things before the actual nuptials…there is no big crescendo. The day-to-day basics get cumbersome enough as it is…I think it’s wise to leave room for growth and a little sizzle. Hence God’s plan to begin with…just saying.
So the question is…
Do we just all give in and fall in line with what has become the norm? OR can we say no? Can we put our foot down when other parents won’t ablidge? Can I send my daughter off to prom with homemade make up and hair?
Am I the bah humbug of flashy fun event planning? Or do I tend to lean toward the rational way of parenting? Do some parents need to pull their head out of their rear and wake up already?
Am I stuck in the past with old ideas strung to nostalgia? Or are there other parents who agree with my less flamboyant philosophy?
Is it acceptable for me to rock the boat and nix group elaborate graduation parties? Can I explain that money will be better spent on dorm supplies and sorority dues? (lol) Will I be forever be labeled the “mean mom” or the cheap mom?
Why all of this pressure?
I miss the old days. I do. It was simple. The physicality of holding a book or newspaper is almost a thing of the past. Don’t get me wrong, I most certainly appreciate the advances in technology. I love being able to sit in my dining room on my Mac Book Air not confined to an office. I thoroughly enjoy social media and our outdoor security cameras and dual temperature gauges and seat heaters in the car. But does all of this mean I should succumb to the social pressure of observing every social function like it’s a celebrity wedding?
All for one and ONE for ALL
PARENTS – let’s band together to help our teenagers understand the value in saving some things for the proper time…when the time is right! Not RIGHT NOW! Let’s leave a few “special occasions” looming, dangling in the forefront. Keep some restrictions dialed in and leave some things out of reach while they are in our home under our roof. College and the real world will come soon enough. Leave some concerts and festivals for a more mature time. In the mean time get back to basics. Go unlisted and be realistic.
What are your thoughts? Am I totally alone on this subject?
I’m not suggesting removing their cell phones and plugging in a land line, although that would be a hoot. I’m merely asking how we/I can slow their roll a tad.
( I may be forced to go UNLISTED if my teen qeen catches wind of this blog post..lol)
I would appreciate all sincere comments, criticism and positive feedback.
Love, pinch poke, you owe me a coke!